Yesterday, in a panic, I wrote about the hoodlum squirrel that had come to my house demanding seed and nuts. I did not what to do. I threatened him with a mouse trap, but he just laughed at me in with that maddening cackle of his. He then ran up the side of the house and I heard his big furry feet running across the roof overhead as he searched for a way inside. Unable to find an opening, he scurried back down with his pistol drawn. I feared for my life. . . . . .so I closed the curtains, went to my bedroom . . . and turned on "Ellen" to calm me down.
After a few minutes of dancing with Ellen’s studio audience, I felt much batter and braver. I heard another noise at the glass door. (gulp.) With the curtains drawn, the humidity inside had made the window so foggy I couldn’t see out. I didn’t really want to see what was out there, but gathering what courage I could find, I took my shirt tail and started wiping off the window. First I meekly wiped off a small spot. . . .
What I saw before me was the face of a large, one-toothed, red, squirrel I wiped off a bit more of the window . . .
Yes, it was definitely a red squirrel. The pistol-toting squirrel from earlier had been a stormy gray. I looked closer. This red rodent seemed to be smiling at me. And what was that in front of him? Was that a fishing bobber ?. . .
Yes! There definitely was a large red fox squirrel was standing on the round, brown rug on my porch, outside the sliding door holding a fishing pole from which dangled a fish of some sort.
Well, he looked pretty friendly standing there with the fish so I slid open the door to see just what he wanted. As you can imagine, it was very hard for us to communicate, but he seemed to be telling me that he wanted peace on the hilltop so he and some of his furry friends were willing to catch fish and dry them for the squirrels to eat if I would be willing to let the gray squirrels eat just a few of the sunflower seeds, especially when there was too much snow and ice for the fisher squirrels to get to the creek.
That sounded like a great idea if he could convince the giant gray squirrels to lay down their weopons and quit harassing me by demanding payment of the black oil sunflower.
You will be glad to know that so far the plan is working out very well. I have received no more threatening knocks on my door.